Where did I go wrong!
by Kiwiri
Summary: Sly and Carmelita have a very unbelieveable son.... You'll never guess who it is!
1. Swiper

**Where did I go wrong:Chapter 1:**

**Swiper the Fox**

**Kiwiri: This may have some minor spoilers in it so be aware! **

**Sly and Carmelita got married and…. By the way I don't Watch Dora, my little sister does so I go along for the ride.**

"Mommy daddy! I want a lolli!" the child cried. That child was Sly and Carmelita's son. The most annoying thing in the world…..(Those of you that know Dora the Explorer) Swiper the Fox!

"Swiper! Not now!" Carmelita replied. Sly stared at her. It made sense, Carmelita was a fox….Sly was a theif. Thus they got Swiper. Carmelita wasn't at all comfortable with this. For one…this guy was a brat. Even they couldn't stand him.

"Uh Carmelita…I'll go mow the lawn" Sly offered.

"Oh no please let me!" Carmelita almost pleaded. No matter what happened, she was not staying home with him alone. Not today anyways. The two kept fighting until they heard Swiper's 21st whine for a lollipop. Carmelita handed Sly one and rushed outside.

For once, Sly had been tricked. Was he losing it? He stared at his only son and threw the lollipop in his mouth. He ate it like there was no tommorow.

"Shank rou" he was drooling. Sly took out a napkin and whiped up his face. "Daddy …did you know that I like to steal…and talk…and steal…and eat lollies… and talk….and steal….and eat…and talk…" He just went on and on……what was worse was that Sly was completely alone.

Once he heard the door open he rushed and pulled Carmelita in. "Swiper," Carmelita said ,"we need to talk"

"Yes mum?" he said sucking on his green lollipop. They had a life supply of those things just to make him queit for a while. "Tommorow Daddy and mommy won't be home okay?"

"Why?"

"We have….work!" Sly replied.

"Yes… you will be babysitted." Carmelita told him.

**Let's see how well that goes! Who likes it? If you don't, stop reading it! Lol that was random! **


	2. A slice of Life

A Slice of Life  


**By the way, it's a Saturday night right now.**

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The baby sitter:

"What's it's name?" Swiper asked still sucking his lolli.

"it? 'it' is a she'" Sly corrected.

"it's name is she?"

"NO! Swiper! Her name is Dora" Camrmelita answered. "and she speaks Spanish!"

"Dora? Isn't that thje girl with the football head that I 'acccidebtally' used as a footaball?" Swiper thought,"And …Spanish Sucks" he said sucking his lollipop.

"WHAT?" Camrelita screamed, "Why God? Why does he think my language SUCKS!"

"Oh! Mom? You Speak Spanish?" Swiper replied,"I thought were French! By the way…French sucks too."

Sly sighed, he snatched the green lollipop from his mouth and threw it away…. This way, he would be quiet but…he waould perhaps stop his "sucky" thoughts. Carmelita just fainted.

Suddenly, out of nowhere came a tiny fox crashing through the window. After examining it, Swiper concluded in saying, "MY TWIN!"

Sly and Carmelita (who recovered) where in a nightmare.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" (after 30.5 minutes of intense screaming)

"Pinch me!" Sly shrieked. "QUICK"

Carmelita shook her head and pinched him….quick.

"Ow!" he shouted. "I still see two!"

"OOOOOOHHHH! MOOMMY! Can I keep him? PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE….(so on)"

"NO!" Carmelita loudly replied,"First of all… that's slavery. Second of all …when only want ONE of you really."

"PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE?"

_I have to end this…._Sly thought _I'll have to get rid of the one NOT begging. _Sly held that one by the tail and kicked it out of the window.

"**NO!" **Swiper's parents replied.

­­­­­­­­­­­­­

-After settling down watching tv-

"Now Swiper… you know what this means…" Carmelita siad to him.

"What? What does chaining me onto the couch mean?"

Camrelita smacked her head, "It MEANS… you're grounded."

"NO! I 'm couched." Swiper replied cleverly. Carmelita glared at Sly. She pointed at him childlishly and said "I BLAME YOU!"

"Fine then, you're taking care of him!" Sly said rushing upstairs.

"Oh no! Swiper will be a good boy. Don't you just love him" Carmelita was afraid she had sounded too sarcastic, "I'm going to bed!"

As Carmelita followed Sly upstairs, Swiper had no idea what was going on. In fact, from what his mother had said, he reaplied, "YAY! THEY LOVE ME!" Thus he was chained all night for thay had forgotten him on the couch.

mean while upstairs

"Hmmm…. I can't quite put my finger on it, but I felt like we forgot something.." Camrelita wondered.

"Ah….we'll remember tommorow." And they both fell asleep

end of chapter 2

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Swiper: Hello? Anyone there? You aren't gonna leave me here! HELLO? ooo echo echo echo echo echo...

**Heh! I hope you like it! NO FLMES PLEASE! Heh enjoy tommorow when DORA comes! Lol have fun reading!**


	3. Dora the Babysitter

**Dora the Babysitter**

"Okay Swiper! We want you to behave!" Carmelita said drinking her coffee. Sly leaped down from upstairs.

"Carmelita! The robbery!" he warned.

"Daddy? Why are you married to your enemy?" Swiper asked chained down still. Sly reached out of the cupboard got out a toothbrush, washed it, put toothpaste on it and stuffed it in Swiper's mouth. "Enjoy." He said and walked away to get his breakfast. "and I'm a police officer, I used to be a theif."

"You _remember?"_Carmelita told him. "Sly…you aren't gonna leave him there _are_ you?" Sly coughed trying to make her forget the first question

"OH." He rushed back to the living room and unchained Swiper. After eating their morning meal, Sly and Carmelita rushed out the front door to welcome Dora.

"You have fun with Swiper and we'll be off!" Carmelita cheered joyfully.

"O-okay.." she answered, closed the door, and walked out of the room. When she saw Swiper, he screamed "ISA SPANISHIAN FREAK!"

"Spanishian? Qué usted significa? ¡Eso no es una palabra!¡" she corrected him.

"AHHHHH! ¡ella está hablando la lengua sucky! ¡AHHHHH! ¡AHORA I " M QUE LO HABLA! ¡NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! » Swiper cried.

"Déjenos reloj justo cierta TV y calma abajo.¡"

"CALMA ABAJO! ¡AHORA QUE " S NO ALGO QUE PUEDO HACER!¡" he whined.

"UH! ¿Tómele a voluntad de la siesta?¿" she demanded.

"Oh sí? ¡toma bien esto!" he challenged and threw a pillow at her face.

"Ow usted ----usted----¡ugh! ¿Esta es la razón por la cual consiguieron a ninaera?¡"

"WHAAAA!¡" he wailed.

"NO! ¡Calma justa-" before she could finish, Swiper threw leftovers of super at her face.

"amperio hora cómo atrevimiento usted usted pequeño PALO DE GOLF!"

(Translation:

"What do you mean? That's not a word!"

"AHHHHH! she's speaking the sucky language! AHHHHH! NOW I"M SPEAKING IT! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

"Let's just watch some Tv and calm down."

"CALM DOWN! NOW THAT"S NOT SOMETHING I CAN DO!"

"UH! Take a nap will you?"

"Oh yeah? well take this!"

"Ow you ----you----ugh! This is why they got a babysitter?"

"WHAAAA!"

"NO! Just calm-

"Ah how dare you you little BRAT!")

Dora sighed… "Do you really hate Spanish THAT much?"

"Of course I do!" Swiper said struggling to get out of his chains. Little did he know, the chains were edible. They were acctually licerish.

"Okay kid what do you want to eat?" she asked laughing at him almost.

"Pizza."

Dora picked up the phone and called "Pizza Palace".

"Hello? Uh-huh U-huh (1 hour later) yup. Okay…..uh-huhmmm, Swiper is cheese okay?"

'Ya whatever" Swiper feel asleep and woke up exactly 0.5 seconds before the pizza guy opened the door. He grabbed the pizza as soon as the door swung open and started to snack on it. "MMMMM pizza" he started drooling there, frozen.

After eating up all of the pizza, his parents came home and as soon as they entered, Dora ran out. Feathers, pizza crust, pillow covers, and mold everywhere… Along with a over weight child who was now repeatedly burping.

"My home has been turned into a zoo!" Carmelita cried and fainted when she got a good look at the room.

**Did you like this Chapter? There will be an estimated amount of 5 chapters. No Flames: )**


	4. KYAAAAAAAA!

KYAAAAAAAA! &# it burns!  


**This is now Sunday morning after hours of cleaning.**

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Swiper for once was **quietly **watching his favorite television show, "Dora the Explorer" Carmelita and Sly looked exhausted for they had finished cleaning up the room last night and it took a few hours. Thus, they had only gotten 3 hours of sleep. It was Sunday morning. Carmelita was drinking her coffee and reading the daily newspaper. Where as Sly, was eating his nice bagel while drinking his hot tea.

Carmelita was relaxed. _Maybe that babysitter acctually knocked some sense into that guy?_ She thought as she watched Swiper watch tv on the couch.

Then, an unsuspected event occurred. Dora started to sing and she had figured that she messed up. Thus, she paused and messed up the whole song. "Ah #! (f word)) I messed up!"

Swiper, who was sininging along now had thought it was part of the song. "Ah &#! I messed up!" Swiper repeated. Carmelita's eyes got wide. She held her coffee in her mouth. Where as Sly wasn't so lucky, he sput out his nice, hot tea on the nice once clean, face of Carmelita. "Oh #& What the #& did you just #&'n say?" Sly almost scolded. Carmelita slapped him "YOU IDIOT!"

"SLY? WTF ARE YOU SAYING!" Carmelita shrieked.

"Mommy? Daddy? What does #& mean?" Swiper asked looking at the two. Carmelita and Sly stopped fighting. They whispered in eachother's ears.

"NOTHING!" They said perkily together. "In fact we don't want you to say that because it's not even a word!"

"Oh……….(moment of silence)………..well I'll make it a word! It'll mean lollipop!" Sounds came from the tv.

"_Swiper no Swiping, Swiper no Swiping, Swiper no Swiping!"  
_

"OOOOOO! IT"S MY FAVOURITE PART! HOORAY! It's as if I'm on telelevisionelasion or something!"

"Tele-what?" Carmelita asked, reaching for a doughnut on the counter.

"How will he go to school tommorow with that word?"

"I'm not sure….but I think we should sue anyone incorparated or with 'Dora the Explorer'!" Carmelita justicely (is that a word?) answered. "Wait itsn't Swiper…"

"Oh! Look Daddy! It's 12:00!" Swiper cheered turning off the television or what Swiper calls a telelevisionelasion. "You know what that means……!"

"Yes I do." Sly said in a bored fashion.

"HOMEWORK!" Swiper cheered. Carmelita couldn't stop herself from snickering. _Poor Sly,_she thought _has to help Swiper with his homework. _"Before that……. Can I have a #&?"

"EXCUSE ME!" Carmelita jumped, then she re-thought…"Please..Please Swiper….say lollipop not the other word."

"What other word? I mean lioke I said #& not the other word!"

"I can't take it anymore! KYAAAAAA!" Carmelita ran upstairs pulling her hair.

"Daddy, is mommy mental?" Swiper asked.

Sly coughed, knowing that Carmelita was still listening from upstairs. "Okay so let's get your homeworkd done shall we?" Sly changed the subject a little.

"Where's my #&?" Swiper whined.

"Ugh! I won't give you a lollipop until you stop calling lollipops #&'s okay?" Sly said handing him the lollie.

Now ussually kids would hate doing their homework. But in this case, it was the parent suffering.

"Daddy…what's 2+2"

"Well let's think about it. You have two lollies, then you take two more lollies and how many do you get?"

"Um…..alot?"

"Yes, but as in a number."

"Uh….more than one?"

"yes…." Sly was losing his patience. _This guy knows his timestables, he did 234+5….how could he not know 2+2?_

"Okay…what part do you not get?" Sly asked.

"The "

"Oh no! The real question is 2+2 the is used to show where to put the answer after you get it!"

"Okay….you can get lost now…I get it."

"Have fun!" Sly said running upstairs towards Carmelita. "You okay?"

"Of course I am! I just did that to get away!" Carmelita laughed, Sly laughed. Swiper ran upstairs, kicked the door open and laughed. He laughed, she laughed, they all laughed. They did this for a few hours. (It's good for their arteries)

after dinner

Carmelita did the dishes peacefully, with a smile plastered onto her face. Sly was helping clear the table. Swiper was packing for school which was tommorow.

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**Well, let's see how well that goes! Lol :) Probably not _too _well with that word. :(  
**


	5. Spanish Sucks!

School 

**Lucky but still full of worry, Carmelita refused to have him home-schooled. Thus…..it was more like Carmelita and Sly tried to hide their laughter and joy as Swiper left for his first day of school.**

Carmelita and Sly tried to hide their laughter and joy as Swiper left for his first day of school. As he boarded the bright yellow bus, every neighbour was happy. But at the same time Carmelita and Sly had small tears dropping from their eyes, some of joy, others with sorrow.

As they rushed inside and locked the door, Carmelita stretched out on the couch.

"This is gonna be one heck of a week" she smiled at Sly.

-reached the school-

Swiper's teacher was a woman. When he first set eyes on her, he was drooling. The woman, known as Mrs. Adagidarenicatiacana was looking down at him.

"Okay class take your seats on the carpet! I will be taking attendance. " said Mrs. Adagidarenicatiacana. "Okay, let's begin….Raise you hand if you're here. Is evetryone here?"

Everyone raised their hands. Now Swiper thought she wasn't all that great anymore but he did raise his hand.

Now let me call out all of your names.. be sure to raise your hand when I say them!" Mrs. Adagidarenicatiacana said.

"Crana? Adania? Amina? Casanara? Pannira? Dora? What Dora's not here….I wonder why. Oh well, Marena? Robin? Knate? Hallin? Manika? Swiper? Good everyone's here except for Dora, our helping teacher."

That's when it occurred to Swiper that he was the only boy in this class. "I WANT A #&! Nothing 's right anymore!"

"Swiper! Don't say that! It's a bad word! Don't ever say it again! Now….everyone…..time for Spanish classes. "

"-when the teacher arrives-

¡ "Hola la clase!" the teacher greeted.

"Hola" everyone replied

"hmmph" Swiper snorted.

¿ "Qué está Swiper equivocado?" the teacher had asked him.

¡ "Español chupa!" he shouted.

¡ "Ah no hace no!" she replied.

¡ "YA!" Everyone encouraged because they thought they'd get a better mark that way.

"Si usted aprende más idiomas, usted será más listo. ...today que estaremos aprendiendo acerca de español." she said.

"What?" Swiper said confused.

(Translation:

"Hello class!"

"Hello"

"hmmph"

"What's wrong Swiper?"

"Spanish sucks!"

"Oh no it doesn't!"

"YA!"

"If you learn more languages, you will be smarter...today we'll be learning about Spanish."

"W H A T ?"

**Thank you because I can't speak Spanish!)**

The Spanish teacher had spent hours lecturing the whole class about different languages, in Spanish. Thus no one could understand because she still had not explained Spanish to them. So it was a waste.

"Now where are my manners?" The'r home room teacher laughed "I'm Mrs. Adagidarenicatiacana."

"Oh ohohohoh! Can I call you mrs. #&?" Swiper asked raising his hand like there was no tommorow.

Mrs. Adagidarenicatiacana ignored him. When he said it again she sent him home. "TAKE HIM! Was the last thing Sly and Carmelita had heard from Mrs. –Adagidarenicatiacana from that day onwards.

"Well looks like you'll have to be home-schooled for now…" Carmelita sighed.

_OH NO! I KNEW WE SHOULDN'T HAVE LET HIM SEE THAT SHOW! _ Carmelita was screaming in her head.

"Swiper….why don't we take you to the phsyciatrist?"

"huh?"

**Okay…so their's more than 5 but that's okay right? Do you want more? OR should I quit? Lol you decide….. Chapter : …..The Phsyciatrist………heh heh**


	6. Where did I go wrong?

Where did I go wrong?

**Read on….this is the last Chapter! Awww : (**

The trip to the phsyciatrist went very well. The whole family was quiet and amiling towrds their dwelling. Even Swiper. He had forgotten the bad word…..but Sly and Carmelita weren't _really _that happy.

The pshcyatrist was the "Contessa". An evil spider which had caused Sly and Carmelita and Sly trouble in the past. Even though she was a real-estate agent now, she was still part-time pshyciatrist. In fact, she acted as if this was her first time meeting the couple.

So everything went well. Once they were home, Swiper continued going to school and continuing his life. Through Grade 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8, juniour high, high, and college. Now it was time….time to choose what he wanted to become….a theif or a policeofficer?

"So what is it?" The parents asked anxiously.

"ha…..I love both of you. And I truly do appreaciate your career choices. I've been thinking it through for many days and months. But know I've decided."

"Yes….." Caremelita groaned, losing her patience.

"And I 've chosen to become a very good job…..it's nice and easy….and"

"OH GET ON WITH IT!"they shouted.

"I want to become…..a seamstress!"

"WHAT!" The froze, shocked at the answer. "OH WHERE DID I GO WRONG!" The both thought aloud.

**The End**

**Did you like it? It was funny right? I thought it was. By the way, Me and my sister made up this one together. Lol stay tuned for my next fan fic! Till then,So long!**


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